sparrow with a crumb

by so+so

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1.
Clean 03:29
Clean My room feels like a mausoleum, mausoleum. Voices on the outside, whispering “carpe diem.” But every moon has a dark side, Every cloud is unlined, It’s a sign of an unhealthy mind. Cars splash on the wet streets, there’s sexualized women on the tv screen, for a change, I’ll change the sheets and feel clean, feel clean, feel clean. Do you ever suspect what you want is taboo? Doesn’t matter what but the rules they apply to you, chiding deriding reproof on their faces and just where the hell do you think that your place is? Just where would you get off? if you could stop the world? All its buzzing and shifting stimulation but your very heartbeat disturbs the creation. Its crazy pattern is just a distraction, a sinner transgressed for even asking, you better repress what you need, til you’re feeling half-empty, some seasonal confection there’s so many roads to dejection, there’s so many roads to dejection, there’s so many roads... but only the one to pure perfection, there’s only the one to pure perfection, there’s only the one where the bones have been picked clean.
2.
ESP 02:33
ESP Even when you’re inside out, you miss the meaning sometimes. Especially when you’re inside out, you skid over things sometimes. ESP abandoned me, even as I live and breathe so I lose myself in small details, I love a deathlike sleep until I’m free or I would be, if I were skidding over some things cause that’s as free as I will ever be. Must have been a reason, must have been a reason, Must have been a reason for the change. Now that’s not even true, but we could use it anyway, or lose it in the small details, let’s throw it all away until we’re saved, or just depraved, because we miss the meaning sometimes, it’s so hard to tell the difference though someday we may.
3.
Strange Place Pretending, pretending performing, intending then fading, chameleon, while waiting for someone. Ostending, teaching by ostension, pretension, pretension. So seamlessly hermetic, I get it, I get it. Somewhere, someone could point us, invent us. Coining terms, coining terms, coining terms for declension, Used and mentioned, used and mentioned, used and mentioned, Used and mentioned. I wanna go someplace strange I wanna go someplace strange I wanna go someplace strange I wanna go someplace.
4.
Tourist Rickshaw Used to take walks Along the railroad tracks On a school night When your friends were sleepin’ You’d resurface in a beat-down one-horse town Get some Little Debbie snack cakes from the all-night convenience store A hotdog at the steakhouse and then turn around Do we want to be ugly Do we want to be raw Do we want to just once Travel in style on a tourist rickshaw? By now you’ve done so many things So many times it should be easy But it’s not that easy Still find yourself wandering home on autopilot Still buying groceries with the change in your pocket
5.
Gum 01:12
Gum i had the worst dream about you this morning you were playing tennis in our bedroom with that girl you’ve got a crush on and it was love and i lay on the bed watching, waiting for my turn but i didn’t get one (of course i didn’t get one) cause it was love you said you were getting in shape— you said the outside of your body must be tougher than a Chiclet! but i knew the inside was gum gum and i woke up choking.
6.
Pretty Lights Put it all in God’s hands He just up and ran. He’s got bigger problems, to ignore Ah but “what’s a heaven for”? And it’s good to be the King, I am sure. Every time I look at you I’m reminded of my youth, Hold my breath, are you through? Cross my fingers and lie to you. And the pretty lights make it beautiful The pretty lights make it so beautiful, it is true. I’m still living in a dream It’s why you’re leaving, it’s obscene that I just never did learn how to be. And I prefer to look at it now historically. Held my breath until I died Crossed my heart and still I lied but I never prayed at all til he took flight the game is dead, long live your pride so just get used, just get used to it all right, all right, all right.
7.
Sorry 02:34
Sorry I analyzed that time til it was fine grained I lived my life a million times in five days and in the end, I just got up and walked away “Sorry about your luck.” You and Scarface, two really tough guys: the way you lived was the way you died. Who’s on the ins? Who’s on the outs? A man like you can’t have any doubts But a girl like me has gotta figure it out A girl like me has gotta second guess Should she keep her mouth shut or confess? So I put it in a jar, I left it out in the rain... And if it’s there tomorrow count me a lucky dame, But happy kid, that’s something else again I said happy kid, that’s something else again If you’re happy kid, that’s something else again Are ya happy kid? That’s something else again
8.
Kiss Goodbye 02:21
Kiss Goodbye If you’d like to kiss goodbye we can I am your biggest fan, you don’t need to stand so far away. And if I get jealous of your toys You can share, attaboy, I never said I didn’t wanna play with your gocarts and your pedal cars. I know it’s too heavy for us to be just friends I guess it’s too heavy for us to be just friends We’ll never be only friends. So if you’d rather just shake my hand That’d be grand, I’m your man Just please don’t stand so far away. And if you’re laughing cause I’m shaving my legs That’s OK, well you can, I just don’t think that it’s so funny that you’re not shaving your face yet.
9.
Wandering Eye Well I forgot your face (blocked it out) But it’s said I still speak your name, in sleep And I don’t think that should be held against me Should not give/take anything away, Should not reveal or hide me If in a wakin’ state you’re not still in my way And in a dream you’re still beside me Everyone looks great in the photo Everyone looks fine in 2D And everyone seems kind, till you know ’em Everyone used to look good, to me Well I’d be on the bus Checking out the shoes Never looking at the faces Cause I… I was too shy Well I’ve been happier Since I shut my wandering eye.
10.
Suge 04:28
Suge Well I’m gonna get you back, but it won’t be into my arms. I can feel it in my legs when I kick. Eternal recurrence is nothing to sneeze at, it’s gonna hit you like a slap. And that’s gonna leave a mark. And I know you’ll carry it with you “for a long, long time” And that’s too bad, you should get it looked at. That’s too bad, you should get it checked out. Cause it don’t look good, you should get it looked at Suge. Cause I’m gonna get you back, and I don’t mean into my arms. Won’t even have to waste my charms on you. I got the long arm of the law on you. And that’s gonna leave a mark, a recognitional spark that you broke my heart But don’t you think too hard on it, don’t you think too hard. Don’t you think too hard on it, just play your part. Cause everybody’s got their bible, and mine’s proved most reliable I’ll recite it, a chapter and a verse: Eternal recurrence is no bullshit it’s gonna hit you hard, gonna leave a mark, And that’s too bad, you should get it looked at. That’s too bad, you should get it checked out. Cause it don’t look good, you should get it looked at Suge.
11.
Jujube 01:44
Jujube Oh you are a starling with a jujube Oh you are a sparrow with a crumb Oh I like this song that they’ve got playin’ Too bad when I'm with you I feel numb Oh I think it’s time to feed the meter Oh I think it’s time that we broke down OH! You're such a go-getter, go-meet-her You’d say that it's either drink or drown
12.
Chicken is Thinking My heart is lifting, growing stronger My soul is rising from under my feet. Spirits are shifting, somewhere yonder a chicken is thinking of crossing a street. So please god have mercy on me Please god have mercy on me Please god have mercy on species Not yet flying. My tears are drying not unsuccessfully My arms open wider to embrace the sea My shakes break the plates, I’m lost in the reeds A siren is singing, so sweetly, I’m sleepy, so Please god have mercy on me Please god have mercy on me Please god have mercy on me, I am trying.
13.
Slowest Boat 01:47
Slowest Boat well i’m the slowest boat on the river somebody’s pulling something see, you’re not looking where you’re going you’ll get away with it and you can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day you’ll get away with it these were your eyeglasses dropped them, by mistake, on the dance floor thought they were a couple of ice cubes till you stepped on them and you can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day you’ll get away with it if it makes you feel that much better i cannot bear to reread your letters i’m out on the town and i look down to find i’m wearing one of your old sweaters and you can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day can’t let go of the day you’ll get away with it
14.
Bunny Suit 01:17
Bunny Suit You think you look so cute in your bunny suit but you’re just a grownup Juvenile delinquent, and remiss And now get this — You cut the inside of your mouth on a cookie Sit there in your high chair and you look and listen The stutter of the outside Makes you shudder inside You’ve got empathy, and fear, like me And like the next guy (and like the next guy) You lurch along in life, like anybody else. But don’t hook your hopes in me I’ll snap the line; I’m gone tomorrow And hide under the bed (and even with that said) It’s so unclear; it’s still unclear I’m just a murky jerk out to squander my resources on something futile And so are you (and so are you) And sore, soar headlong into the blue And I get carried away and when I hit the ground I’m just a pawn — I’m just a peon! I know I am… If I’m the one that got away, then what are you?
15.
Shrink 02:55
Shrink Don’t ask me how I am, you are not near enough to hear Don’t ask me where I am, it makes me disappear Don’t ask me why I’m just describing how it feels. Words are overrated, ones and zeroes are clean Stars are noncommittal; people are mean My dog is loyal and my boss is a dream. No matter how I say it, my shrink don’t know what I mean. And anyways, I say we’re not alone She’s got her robot lady, lives in her phone! I got my television, I got my great mission, To forget my latest real-life sit-com star. I can watch her closely on the screen I can watch her closely, a girl can dream I can watch her closely but keep it clean No matter how I say it my shrink don’t know what I mean
16.
Bottleneck 01:32
Bottleneck Too late to turn over, Too sad to care Too precariously balanced To even know where The party is And I’m a magpie person With a spangly eye We’re too worn down to notice And too lackluster to try And I’ll sleep in silver You’ll risk your neck And in the morning We’ll wake up Dim, dumb, and derelict Fearless and helpless You love it Your little catalyst For contradiction And hapless Couldn’t care less Don’t be such a fool There’s no time to get angry We might be stuck here for a while, my dear Because a bottleneck is hopeless A bottleneck is HOPELESS Bottleneck is hopeless dear, and fearless helpless hapless careless Bottleneck is hopeless, anyway.
17.
Clues in the Woods clues in the woods by their house in the sticks way back when… deluded dizzy stretched out to breaking under the pretense of keeping busy i was not stalling (i wanted you to get with it) i wouldn’t have to police you if we were friends having a friendly visit you want to patch it up you think it’s on the mend we’re going to back it up clues woods house sticks way… way back when
18.
(If you ever get) So Drunk I fell off the world that night. You were such a sight For my sore eyes, but maybe a little too bright. Yes I knew you were my cosmic mate. Such a tragic fate for something like that, to be such a one-way street. But that was a joke you know I was just messing, If I ain’t your goddess, I do have a lesson to learn.... So if you ever get so drunk That you dare not even stand up You can call me you know, I miss you, Miss you so much. And that is no joke you know, I really mean it, You’re not from Mars and I sure ain’t from Venus, I look at the stars you know, I think they’re bluffing, and how I could go for some earthly loving for once... So if you ever get so drunk that you dare not even stand up, you can call me I’ll come pick you up, my sweet fluffernutter! If you ever get so drunk, that you dare not even stand up you can call me I’ll come pick you up out of any gutter! If you ever get so drunk that you dare not even stand up you can call me you know, I miss you, you know, miss you that much.
19.
Late Last Night late last night amidst the black i took a wrong turn and i’m not going back found a lightweight child’s ball glowing orange in the dim, and saw a glimmer shooting star — cause i was moving away from him night place right time runs deep and deeper still the sound of water underground must be sneakers running silly and already fearing run-ins with big dogs the grass was wet and i slipped and tripped and rose heard the birdlike animals chitchatter up late last night, like me, i suppose
20.
Old Bean 01:51
Old Bean You’ve had your coffee and your speed Still you can go right back asleep. No need to lock the flipping door Leave it wide open anymore Doesn’t anyone wanna fool with me Is there anything a person takes personally, I guess not, so they tell me. So welcome back, hello old bean Lie back, relax, it’s just a string disappearing. You never learn you drama queen, Letting go’s a wonderful thing You are the sad part of god Your life must be shoddy so that somewhere There are parties, and love, it’s zero-sum That’s just silly but you say it so that others may be strong... you know it’s just a few years longer now hold on, hold on hold on You know it’s just a few years longer now, hold on.
21.
Astroturf Porch muggy august afternoon on your astroturf porch with the porch swing swaying and a congregation of faded jigsaw puzzle parts in rows, and your forehead furrows [a summer scene, restoring order just across the connecticut border] a piece apiece is hard to find and i would not and i would not and i would not mind put all the patterns close together sweating out the summer weather and the steam is rising from some grey surface from the things we do with no purpose but i [i’d like to come across as if by chance on some great chase] and i i’d like to see i’d like to see i’d like to see your jigsaw-puzzled, furrowed, faithful face!
22.
Time Zone 02:34
Time Zone The sky is upside down when you fly Wherever you sit it’s the right side up Funny where you end up on a jet If the world should bust in half then I’m all set to die. “The streets are filled with water please advise.” I waved to you when I was in your time zone. Squashed you like a bug upon the screen. I wonder did I leave a finger print? Now the ramps for handicapped all hold a new meaning for me The money of all countries is just funny money I wonder will they read my diaries? Are there any traces left of Jesus? The sky is upside down when you fly above the clouds around, Would tunneling to China make it right, bring you around around, I’m locating my flotating device, as I try to see beyond the floaters in my eyes.
23.
I Am 04:27
I Am Shouldn’t be so nervous-making, to tell you what I did today It’s not as if you’ve got a stake in what I’m doing anyway. I’m a weird and lonely creature, looking inside your lit-up home. I’m a weird and lonely creature, won’t you please leave me to die alone. You only like me cause you’re lonely, you only like me cause you’re sad. So if I make you happy, lord, where you going with that? I think you must be crazy, I think you wanna let me in I think you must be crazy, and you’re only with me out of desperation And once you get to know me, you will see I’m on the verge Of sucking the life out of anything that might do me some good. You only like me cause I’m sad? Where you going with that? We are no more than our bodies, we are only trying to score. Wouldn’t know what we were missing, lord, if only there were nothing more. If only there were nothing more. I’m not quite all there, but I don’t know where I am, I am Not quite all there, but I don’t know where I am, I am Not quite all there, but I don’t know where I am, I am Not quite all there, but I don’t know where I am, I am I am, I am, I am.
24.
Girl Friday 02:23
Girl Friday I was dressed to the nines You were left far behind Oh, what a pretty picture Oh how I feel deified, And oh, how gone are the times when you and I cared enough to fight, and say petty mean things, just for spite and just to savor the sting and the bite, of how our vessels would fill up with light if ever our ships should pass in the night. You say that your ship is well manned, but that look in your eyes says you’re standing on land, without much help from your shiny gold band that look in your eyes says you’re standing on land. And sometimes, it feels like you’re stranded And poor Girl Friday just can’t understand Cause she didn’t love you, when you were scrawny like I did. No she didn’t love you when you were scrawny like I did, like I did.
25.
1 or 2 Things 1 or 2 things, I wish you could know how far I’d go, to win you over how far I’d go, if I were a hero I’d cross the world, just to make you my girl And how I choke up, when I hear the Stones, cuz I can’t ever get what I need either. And you were so close, that evening, I almost had you to myself. But the sun will rise, I will be alone, I can’t prove it But still, I know
26.
Statue 04:11
Statue When you want attention, where do you go? “Well sir why are you so small?” I saw you write your name in ink on the wall with a ballpoint pen. Did your daddy understand your motives? Did your daddy understand? Saw you walking up the pool hill with your mom With a suntan on your arms Now you’re in the big pool with the big kids But not it’s an adult swim Did your mommy let you in with her? Did your mommy let you in? All my recreation, where has it gone? When did I get so tall? All of my possessions are over the wall I’ll take them out and dust them off, I’ll take them out and dust them, I will take them out today and dust them off, I will take them out today, one by one. All my inspiration, where is it gone? There really is nothing, at all. Know there was a statue here someplace Roaches of love at her base She’s too tall and they’re too small To ever glimpse the other’s face. I would take her out today and dust her off I would put her on display on my front lawn I would take her out today and show her off. All my inspiration, where are you gone? There really is nothing at all. All my inspiration, where are you gone? There really is nothing at all. All my inspiration, where are you gone? There really is nothing at all. All my inspiration, where are you gone? I long to hear the voices of the gods, the gods. 
27.
Drew the Dress six odd hours behind a sleeping mask and you love that enforced darkness of nylon ten strange days in a rented room and you wish your life you had someone to cry on why did i ever say that all i wanted was to go away and i drew the dress that didn’t fit just so i’d remember it i did the right thing, don’t you think? it was grey, and white, and pink and i am far removed from all that, now if what i do is make you green with ‘e’ [nvy] and blue with ‘s’ [orrow] and seeing red then i’ve got more to understand cause what i know is we’ve got strings and strands of hope but i don’t know why the shit still hits the fan and i’m holding onto things in bed and i’ll hug an animal or two and think it’s you and why did i ever say i wanted more than this small circumstance could afford? the air, unsteady, rushes in and car lights fly over the wall and i’m ready (for something) words spill out onto the paper and i’m afraid that might be all.

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Analog recording

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released June 18, 2011

Judy F., Erin H., Dan M., Dave C.

Mastered by Matt J.

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so+so Somerville, Massachusetts

so+so (so and so): judy and erin. each writes lyrics/music and from there everybody backs one another up, and adds wonder. original band members: judy, erin, dan, and dave. a local band in the cambridge/somerville area since 2001.

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